I Close My Eyes
by addraving
Summary: Harm's POV. Harm and Mac wake up one morning to some changes. This is my first fanfic that I have tried to write. Please R&R! Thanks!


Disclaimer: I don't own the JAG people, nor do I own Creed's songs.   
This is my first fic, so please R&R! It came to me late one night as I sat watching JAG and listening to Creed at my computer.  
  
I wake up alone in our bed. I reach over and she isn't where she was last night, curled up next to me. Her warm, soft body wrapped around me. I slowly get out of the bed and pull on my jogging pants that are laying on the floor where she casually threw them in a moment of heated passion last night. I rub the sleep from my eyes and stumble through the house calling her name. I can't find her, until I hear it from the downstairs bathroom, the sound of her crying.  
  
I run down the stairs, taking two at a time, and knock on the door. It takes all the control in me not to throw the door open and take her in my arms. "Sarah, are you alright?" I ask through the door, trying my damndest not to sound like I am having a heart attack. Her voice comes through the door weary and weak sounding. "I think so. Please come in and talk to me. Harm, I need you."   
  
I open the door with caution, and find her crouched over the commode. Her face is pale and tear stained, eyes red from crying. I gently help her up off the floor and she stands over the sink, splashing cold water on her face. I rub her back, hoping that this isn't anything severe, since the closest hospital is Bethesda Naval Hospital 15 minutes away.   
  
"I'm not sure what is wrong with me. At first, I thought it was the flu, then I thought it was something I ate, but as of today, I'm 3 days late." As she spoke the words her lip began to tremble. Inside myself, I was feeling very confused. We had known this would come someday, but not this soon. We aren't even married, and I know her well enough that her body runs like clockwork. Tears silently run down her face, as I take her in my arms and hold her against my chest. I never thought I would see her this afraid, the tough Marine I fell in love with is a sensitive woman inside.   
  
"It's alright Honey, we'll make it through this. Just like everything else we've been through. Let's go and get a test and make sure that's what's really going on first before we make any sudden moves." I whisper against her hair. She silently nods, and pulls away. I lean down and kiss her tears away, then tenderly kiss her lips. Like a ghost, she walks away, up the stairs.  
  
I find her coiled up in a tight ball in the bed, as I get dressed to leave. I lean over and kiss her cheek, "It will be okay Sarah, I promise. I love you." and I turn to leave.  
"I love you too Harm" she whispers almost too quiet for me to hear.  
  
I get in my SUV and head towards Georgetown. The only thing open at this hour of morning is the local Harris Teeter. As I drive, I can't help but think if I am ready for this, if I am ready to be a father, or if my Sarah is ready to be a mother. A cd Bud left in my SUV when he borrowed it, is playing. I've never heard it before, but it sounds pretty good. I'll have to remind myself to give it back to him tomorrow at work. One song catches my attention, and I press repeat.  
  
"Well I just heard the news today   
It seems my life is going to change  
I closed my eyes, begin to pray  
Then tears of joy stream down my face  
  
With arms wide open  
Under the sunlight  
Welcome to this place  
I'll show you everything  
With arms wide open  
  
Well I don't know if I'm ready  
To be the man I have to be  
I'll take a breath, take her by my side  
We stand in awe, we've created life  
  
With arms wide open   
Under the sunlight  
Welcome to this place   
I'll show you everything   
With arms wide open  
Now everything has changed  
I'll show you love  
I'll show you everything   
With arms wide open  
  
If I had just one wish  
Only one demand  
I hope he's not like me  
I hope he understands  
That he can take this life   
And hold it by the hand  
And he can greet the world   
With arms wide open…."  
  
  
  
I park and shut the engine off, sitting there for a few minutes, taking in what the song says. I've never really connected to a song before, but this one hits home a bit. I walk into the store in a daze, find the aisle I need and pick up an EPT test. The girl behind the counter gives me an odd look, shrugs her shoulders and rings up my purchase. I hand her a $20, get my change and head back towards the house.  
  
I walk in the door and up the stairs to the bedroom. Sarah is sitting on the edge of the bed, towel drying her hair. She looked better than she did when I left, her eyes look brighter and she looks calmer. I sit down next to her and rub her shoulders, " I got the test. If you're not comfortable with it now, we can wait if you want. " I kiss her bare shoulder lightly. " I want to do this now, so we know." She says as she gets up, taking the box from me and heading towards the bathroom. I wait out here on the bed, giving her the privacy she needs. This is going to be tough, but we can do it, our love is strong enough.   
  
She doesn't come out for awhile and just as I being to worry, the door opens and she comes into the bedroom with a funny grin on her face and tears . I stand up and go ot her, wrapping her in my arms, holding her tight. "Harmon Rabb, Jr. I love you. You're a daddy." She says in a overjoyed voice. I can't help but kiss her and tell her I love her over and over as tears stream down my face.  
  
  
" Well, I don't know if I'm ready   
To be the man I have to be  
I'll take a breath, take her by my side  
We stand in awe, we've created life  
With arms wide open"  
  
  
  
  



End file.
